Restaurant Gordon Ramsay: Royal Hospital Road, London UK 0

http://www.gordonramsay.com/royalhospitalroad

Here I find myself again, sitting at the computer, procrastinating. Getting a glass of water, wiping down the table, changing the channel on the telly, blowing my nose, doing anything BUT writing.

Ah – here I am again – just had dinner. It’s 1 hour after the time I started this entry.

Back again – 2 hours after line above – just watched MASTERCHEF The Professionals. SEE!!! I can’t do it! I can’t start this review!!!!!

It is now the next day and still no progress – I am waiting for the door bell to ring and then I will leave the house AGAIN. But I promise – when I am back – I will do it. I will commence the most difficult review that I have ever had to write.

BACK. 2 days later, with an additional review to write, two actually,  Negozia Classica and Al Duca, but they’re seriously gonna have to wait.

Ok – I have decided that the best way to tackle this is to walk you through the evening, literally walk, step by step ….from arrival to departure, obviously this will INCLUDE detailed descriptions of everything shoved into the pie hole.

AFTER THIS, I will conclude with a summary paragraph.

The moral of the story being, if you don’t want to read a gazillion pages then skip to the bottom, as you’ll get the answer to your ‘Should I go or not?’ question very quickly……HOWEVER, I find it hard to believe that readers of this site just want the simple yes or no.

Ok – so finally, after a quabillion years of wanting to dine here, the dream finally became a reality. Opening in 1998 and gaining its 3^rd Michelin star in 2001, Restaurant Gordon Ramsay (RGR) is the ONLY 3 Star restaurant in London. Located on Royal Hospital Road in Chelsea, RGR has long been on many a foodie and winey’s MUST SEE/TASTE/SMELL/EXPERIENCE list.

Due to the fact that I have wanted to dine here for so long, you would have thought that the moment Husbies and I landed in London, I would have been on the phone to these guys whilst waiting for my suitcase at the baggage carousel at Heathrow. But I wasn’t. I’ve been inundated with so many other Phoodie experiences over the last year that it was not until we booked our flights to return BACK to live in Australia that I realised OH GOODNESS – QUICK – HURRY HURRY – CALL RGR – NOW! NOWWWWWWWW!!!!

So recently, as I said, literally the moment we booked our flights back to Aus, I jumped straight on the phone to RGR to secure a reservation. I don’t know WHAT I was thinking or what planet I was on, in my head I KNEW that RGR was booked out generally 3 months in advance and I KNEW that we only had 1 month in which to ‘get in’ before we took off…..Not to mention it’s only opened 5 days a week and each sitting has 45 places MAX.

Annnnnnnway, I gave the lady on the phone the complete A to Z sob story and she promised to put me on a waiting list whilst advising me to call back on Wednesday (something to do with cancellations happening at that time etc). I told her we’d much rather a dinner seating than a lunch one, and preferably something around 7.30pm – I really do have the hide of an elephant! I think her laugh was the polite way of saying ‘’Listen love, you’re probably not going to be coming AT ALL let alone at your desired time so just close your mouth, pray each day and get off the phone as I am very busy.’’

Long story short (ha!) she called me back 24 hours later to let me know that there was a Monday night 6.45pm slot open if I’d like to take it. Of course I said YES YES YES and the story continues from there……

I awoke Monday morning with an excited churning sensation in my stomach – although this could have been many a thing– I am pretty sure this Christmas-morning-tummy-feeling-replica was due to what awaited me that evening. All day I STARVED myself – very very rare thing – and I just counted down the hours until I could jump in my cab and head for phoodie heaven. ( I must mention here I had a special lunch on this day…..’’but I thought you just said you starved yourself???’’……’’I did starve myself, I ordered a fennel salad, but it was a special lunch as I dined with cousins from overseas who I hadn’t seen in agessssssss and we went to 202 in Notting Hill which has such a great atmosphere and great food – even though my choice was slightly boring – gosh I can change the subject….)

Anyway, the time finally came and at 6.15pm I jumped in a taxi headed for RGR. I was texting Husbies each traffic light along the way – he was also in a cab headed to the restaurant but from the other side of town from work.

I arrived first, and as the black car pulled in, a man in a fancy outfit rushed to my door to open it. I normally dislike this hoity-toity typa behaviour  but it’s hard to explain, and this theme continues in the review, as amazzzzzzzzing as the service was on all accounts, and as focused on detail as it was, it was all done in such a relaxed/friendly/natural/down-to-earth kinda way, so that it was impossible to  feel uncomfortable. It was like going to a friend’s house for dinner and just being really well looked after.

Upon entering, you walk down a narrow corridor with a solid wall on the  right and spaced out glass panels on the left – allowing you to peek into the main space. Once I arrive at the end into the reception area I was warmly greeted by 5 people, one offered to take my coat and then another showed me straight to our table.

BEEP BEEP. The loudest mobile phone text message alert that you’ve EVER heard is mine. Damn I forgot to put my phone on silent. It’s Husbies telling me he’s 5 mins away. I text  back ‘’Hurry this is awkward’’…..But the truth is, once I think about it, this ISN’T awkward. As corporately sort of stark as the space is, and as snobby and fancy as it first feels, there’s nothing about the environment at all that makes  me feel uncomfortable, even in the slightest…..

I suppose now is the time to comment on the interior, which was done by David Collins. Look, as an Interior Architect I could do a review JUST  on this, but because I’m at the end of page 2 and I haven’t even commenced the description of  my 1^st course I better not. In summary, the interior of RGR is slightly disappointing. I wasn’t expecting a Philippe Starck Asia De Cuba job, as that would clearly be completely out of context, but I have seen French Simplicity and 3 Star Michelin done much better. Apart from the gorgeous lights, the features of the rest of the space could have indicated that I was seated in a lunch room at a high end corporate conference facility. Nice. Nothing BAD about it. Just not the best. At all.  The journey from the cab to the table far outdid the ‘’main event’’ room.

Ok so after sitting me down, one of the 600 waiters that served us that evening had a little chat with me…..about our surname and its origins, about Europe, about his working experiences in a couple of other places. Light-hearted, comfortable, friendly banter and then he left me be. Within 3 minutes of him walking away, another waiter arrived with a medium sized platter of food, which he placed in front of me and said with a smile ‘’Something yummy to nibble on while you wait.’’

My eyes lit up immediately. A reasonably large white rectangular plate and on it

1)       the best Aubergine dippy concoction I have EVER tasted,

2)      another dip:  Rocket and Parmesan – delicious,

3)      home-made ‘’Kettle Chips’’ – goes to show you how fake tasting Kettle Chips actually are when you have the REAL REAL thing – crunchity crunch crunch

4)      home-made parsnip crisps – phenom.

It didn’t take me long to dive straight into in and as I was chomping away, Husbies arrived. Eyes lit up, he  sat down, joined me and the parsnip crisps, and so our night began.

In addition to this gorgeous little plate of food that lay in front of us, another little stand of ‘sandwiches’ arrived. Sitting in a silver ‘toast rack’ 2 basil and mozzarella sambos sat patiently waiting for us to pick them up and make them disappear. Instead of bread, the mozza and basil was squeezed beautifully between 2 deep fried potato slices. Mmmmm Mmmmmmm! In one nostril out the other – gone in 2 seconds!

After they were consumed another waiter came over with the menus. He asked who would be hosting the table and when Husbies said ‘Ah me I guess’ with a smile, the waiter handed me the 1^st menu and Husbies the next one. Nice touch. He explained to us that we had 3 menus to choose from that night, firstly the A La Carte (choose whatever you want, however many courses you want, from a large selection), secondly the Seasonal Inspiration ( a 5 course seasonal dinner written specifically for the produce that is currently available and at its best) and thirdly, the Menu Prestige (a multiple course selection of the finest from the A La Carte).

After much deliberation, and the realisation that this was probably the one and only time we would dine here – well at least for a long while – we decided to go with the Menu Prestige – and thank goodness we did!

It went something like this…

The first thing to arrive was an old fashioned silver ice cream cone holder, with 2 ‘’ice creams’’ sitting in it ready to be grabbed and demolished. Inside each cone, (which was about 5cm in height – so let’s call them mini-cones),  was piped avocado mousse – smooth and refreshing; with fresh lobster scattered to the very top and over the edge – deeeeeelish.

As soon as these had been consumed the ‘bread waiter’ came over with a lovely tray filled with 4 types of bread; Olive, Potato and Rosemary, Brown Sourdough and White Sourdough. Although I wanted to have a piece of each, I resisted, taking the Potato and Rosemary and smiling when Husbies took the Olive – at least I’d get to try 2 types! And they were both haymzaing!  Salt and Pepper piped butter was served alongside them on a small plate – basically seasoned butter – and was soon spread  smoothly on the delicious morsels before popping them into the mouth – again – delicious bread – not just normal or nice – delicious.

Then came our ‘Amuse-bouche’. Although I’d heard the term a million times before and I knew what the purpose of one was, I’d never actually bothered to translate it. It literally means ‘Mouth Amuser’ in French! Designed to excite the taste buds and prepare them for the meal ahead, tonight our AB was, wait for it,  Consommé of Jacket Potato with small Ravioli parcel of sour cream and chives. Whilst I definitely cannot say it was the tastiest consommé I have ever had, it was certainly the most interesting and creative. Bravo.

AB cleared, we moved on to the first course. For me it was Pan fried sea scallops from the Isle of Skye with a leek and pancetta ballottine , sage gnocchi and caper beurre noisette – phenom to the max. Each component was absolutely packed with flavour, and together?? A symphony. Husbies had the Pressed foie gras with peppered Madeira jelly, smoked duck, rhubarb and walnut crumble. Smiled the whole time, I tried a bit, smooth and delicious, but I preferred the scallops.

Bye bye scallops and hello to the next round; Ravioli of lobster, langoustine, and salmon poached in a light bisque with a lemongrass and chervil veloute.  Perfectly cooked pasta, spot on mixture of seafoods and probably the best veloute I have ever had. Wish this course was bigger!

A filet of turbot with braised baby gem lettuce and leeks with cep sauce was exactly the right thing to hit the spot after the Langoustine Rav mentioned above. There is something about cooked lettuce – in all forms – that I have always loved – not that I am comparing the soggy toasted sambo’s I used to have in high school and adore to Michelin dining but……..

Even though we felt as though we’d already had the main event a million times over, the waiter clearing away the empty plates assured us it was still to come and then out of nowhere appeared two plates of the famous Cannon of Cornish lamb with confit shoulder, ratatouille and thyme jus. Classic combination but so prettily served with the ratatouille stuffed inside a baby red capsicum/pepper. Almost too cute to eat, but don’t worry, we did.

Now officially bursting at the seams a different waiter came over the clear the plates and check that we were ready to move on to something sweet. Ready?! Always ready! So…..out came the Prune crème brulee with fresh apple shavings and freshly squeezed apple juice. Interesting combo – definitely worked – Creme brulee brought tears to the surface but in my opinion prune wasn’t needed – it wasn’t offensive but it wasn’t needed.

‘’STOP – STOP – ENOUGH – I’M FULL’’ my head was shouting – within itself not out loud – BUT MY HEART was definitely hoping for MORE MORE MORE! Not because I was hungry of course – who goes to a restaurant like this just ‘cause they’re hungry?? Only a fool….ok….what was I saying….ah I was saying that I was wanting more and the reason was that it was all such theatre, such an experience, so entertaining, a guessing game…..and then…..the best surprise of all!! The Pineapple and coconut ‘Pina Colada’ surprise arrived – served in a tall ‘v shaped’ champagne-y sorta glass was a sublime mix of pineapple, coconut cream,  and rum and sticking out of it a long glass straw. In unison Husbies and I took our first gulp through the straw and BAM!!! POW!!! KABOOM!!!! Yes they were the explosive fireworks of flavour going off on our taste buds but they were also the actual NOISES coming off our tongues – OUT LOUD!! Hidden in this tres yumaroo concoction was popping candy!!!!!!!!! Y’know, pop rocks from your childhood???????? The candy that snaps and bursts all over your tongue and people sitting next to you can hear it!!!!!! If you don’t know what I am talking about, you definitely had a seriously deprived childhood!! And how clever to use it like this. YES! YES! YES! Tick, tick tick!!!!

Obviously now we were at maximum capacity in terms of ‘’fullness’’ but, as I said above, irrelevant, as we just wanted to keep on being surprised. I was already scared of how sad we would feel once the night ended, but I need not have worried yet.  The bitter chocolate and hazelnut cylinder with ginger mousse and a stained glass window styled dashing of raspberry jus came next. I think I might have already said this about something before, but if I did I take it back, THIS in fact, was the prettiest plate of the evening. Tasted good too. Not mind-blowing but good, good enough – I think when something looks this good on the plate it always tastes ‘’good and not great’’ because your expectations are so high from the moment you lay your eyes on it, so high that they can never be reached.

We were offered tea and coffee and ordered fresh herbal (peppermint) and as we waited 3 more things arrived!!!! 3!!!! And yes they were the last 3 – sob sob.

The first one was White chocolate covered strawberry ice-cream balls – served in a silver bowl with dry ice – so as the lid was removed the smoky effect rose above and made us smile – they tasted great too!!! Alongside this, perfectly cut cubes of rosewater Turkish delight truly delighted, and were smooth as a bubs butt! Fiiiiiiiiiiiinally –  a silver ‘’tree’’ made up of little balls and a stand thing – was placed in the centre of the table – very sculpture-like and too beautiful to touch. But we did touch it. In fact we plucked the silver balls off of it AND ATE THEM – delicious sparkly rich silver chocolate truffles – AND when we couldn’t eat anymore, Jean Claude Breton, the infamous RGR Maitre’ D himself, popped out of the wood-work, approached the table and handed me a black and silver ‘jewellery box’ for me to pick the remainder of the balls from the tree and binge on truffles for breakfast the next day…..which I did!!

So – here’s the summary that was promised at the start. All in all an absolutely AAAAAAAAAMAZING experience. VERY  deserved of each and every one of its 3 MS’s. Does it serve the best food in London?? Not necessarily, No. We’ve definitely had food, Frenchy Micheliny food, of the same and in some instances , slightly better, quality, in other places…..BUT as a package, when combining ‘the experience’ AND the food – it is comparable to no other. A must do for anyone who’s ‘’thinking of doing it’’ or who ‘’has wanted to do it for ages’’. A lovely way for us to wave ta ta to the yumminess of Londres. But not to fear……SYDNEY AWAITS!!!!!!